Bag Lady

Recently I got tagged by Pearl at Pearls of Wisdom in a meme (what is a meme, anywho?). It was created by Beth at Total Mom Haircut and is all about purses, so really, how can I say 'no'?

Here’s what you/I have to do:

(1) Post a picture of whatever bag you are carrying as of late. No, you cannot go up to your closet and pull out that cute little purse you used back before you had kids. I want to know what you carried today (or the last time you left the house).

(2) I want to know how much it cost :) And this is not to judge, because I’m honestly telling you I was ready to put down some cash; I just got lucky. This is for entertainment purposes only. So spill it. And if there is a story to go along with how you obtained it, I’d love to hear it.

(3) Tag some chicks. And link back to this post so people know why the heck you’re showing everyone your diaper bag/non-diaper bag.

This Tag/Meme/Schmeme/Whatever It Is comes at the perfect time because I was *just* switching over from full diaper bagness to something a bit more compact/convenient. I've been convinced for the last year that the one time I don't take the diaper bag out, that will be the one day that Baby Bee decides to shit all over herself. Luckily, since that hasn't happened is a loooong time, I think I'm good to make the switch!

So this is my beautiful Purse O' the Moment:

She's Coach and was discovered sitting on a lonely shelf at the Seattle Premium Outlets by Sissy, my sissy. Okay, she wasn't lonely. She actually has a twin who lives at Sissy's house. Yeah, we have matching sweaters, shirts, Uggs, husbands, purses...

I think my favorite part of the purse is the lining:
It's so Springy! I really need to get one of those cute little scarves that they tie on Coach purses to spruce up the outside a bit. Hmmm...I smell a shopping trip in my future...

This little beauty was marked down from $428 to something in the $200s and then it was on Clearance. We ended up getting them for about $125 each. Score, right?!

Sissy was in the checkout line that snaked through the store ready to buy the purse for herself when she decided I might like one. She called me on the phone and said, "Uh, there is a really cute purse marked down from $428 to $125. I'm getting one. You want one?" "Dur." I replied. (Okay, actual I needed some convincing because I knew I probably didn't *need* it and I wasn't sure on the color situation). Needless to say, Mr. Bee was not quite as thrilled when I put down the phone and said cheerily, "I just got a new Coach purse!!"

Sissy then had to make a worker at the store go and fetch her another one. Sadly, we left their sole remaining sibling on the shelf. Someday, when our purses are old enough to understand, we'll explain to them why we loved them enough to adopt them, but not enough to save their sibling. (Coming Soon to a Lifetime Channel for Women near you!)

I thought I'd share all the goodies that I carry in my purse on a daily basis:
Man, that looks really sparse online, huh? All I got is:

- my wallet (another thing from Sissy)
- two business card holders: one for my "You Are A Douche" cards, and one for my actual business cards (I try my best to not get them mixed up)
- my brand new Diapee Wipees (gawd, I hate that name). One day I saw those and thought, "What a fab idea! There's no way in hell I'm spending $15 on one of those! I'll just make one myself." Well, $20 and a super failed craft project later, I finally coughed up the $15 on one. Sigh.
- tissues (with a wedding cake topped with bride and groom on them - gag me, right?)
- my beloved Crackberry
- eye drops
- my Coach pill holder, containing my cherished Advil, Tylenol, Pepto, Mr. Bee's meds
- half-eaten roll of Life Savers
- Chanel long wear lipstick. I LOVE that stuff.
- a pen. Usually it's my fancy Tiffany one that I got as a gift, but that one must be currently residing in a some discarded purse.

Can you believe how much stuff fits in to this purse?!

Alrighty then. Now it's tag time. I hereby, by the power vested and whatnot, tag:

- Sara at The McGowan Foursome
- Guwi at Sometimes I Think Funny Things
- Jen at Absolutely Bananas
- Betts at Damn Yankee
- Daniel at Daily Spewage of a Bitter Mind (Cuz he always gets left out since he doesn't have a vagina - as far as I know.)

Oh, and this is for you, Pearl:
Fuckity fuck fuck. ;)


Song title: Bag Lady by Audio Adrenaline

I Hope You Dance

I love this post by Mr. Lady of Whiskey in My Sippy Cup and wanted to share it with the Hive!



Song title: I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

Road To Alaska

Stolen from Slurbatron:

Song title: Road To Alaska by the Bee Gees

Odyssey Of The Mind

Oasis postpones concert after Gallagher assaulted
I read that headline online just now and I only clicked on the story because I had this awesome visual of Oasis being attacked by a rabid fan with a giant watermelon and mallet.

Sadly, this was the real story:
By Associated Press LONDON, Ontario (AP) - British band Oasis has postponed its concert in London, Ontario, after a fan attacked and injured guitarist Noel Gallagher.

Needless to say, I am very disappointed.


Song title: Odyssey Of The Mind by Die Krupps

(Hey, Fat!) Don't Come Around Here No More

Ever since moving in to our apartment (gag), somehow miraculously I have been losing weight. Well, okay, actually I technically haven't lost any weight. The Wii Fit informs me that I weigh the same as a few months ago. But here's the weird thing: my clothes don't fit anymore!

A few months ago, I purchased a size 31 Joe's Jeans(aka: my sparkle butt jeans) at the Rack, and while they've never been skin tight, they fit for a while. But now? It's like I'm wearing man jeans. But for no ascertainable reason! I do have to climb 3 flights of stairs with probably 30 plus pounds on me (Baby Bee plus Diaper Bag plus Whatever I was out of the apartment - gag - to buy in the first place), but I've still been on my steady diet of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Pop Tarts so I'm not sold on that theory.

Any who, I went out last night with the goal to find some jeans that fit instead of looking like frumpy droopy drawers. Figuring that the Great Disappearing Weight will suddenly reappear the minute I leave the apartment (VIMMAL), I didn't want to spend a huge dollar amount on jeans. I headed to the Gap, keeping in mind that I always have to size up when I'm there (seems like all their jeans are built for tweens lacking my ever-present "good birthing hips").

Keeping my expectations low, I gathered a large assortment of styles in sizes 10 and 8 (with the size 8 being hopeful). I found a great jean in a size 8, but...it seems a little loose. But...that would mean...

Holy shit balls.

I got to buy a size SIX jean yesterday. SIX! I haven't worn a size 6 since...well, it's been so long that I can't even remember when I worn that size! College, maybe? I am so happy I feel like shouting it from the rooftops! Or maybe getting a custom tee shirt made that says "I still weigh the same, but somehow I'm a size 6!"

God only knows where the mysterious weight is hiding? Under the bed? On summer vaca?
All I know is, hey Love Handles? Don't come around here no more!

Bored? Here is a super cool site I found from Ashley's Closet.It's a Photo Height/Weight Graph! Check it out!!


Song title: Don't Come Around Here No More by Tom Petty

Write It Down

Holy crap balls! I just scheduled our signing for the new house for Monday morning!

Is this really happening?! Is the house really going to be ours?!?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!


Song title: Write It Down by Bleach

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I've decided that since my television show reviews are cumbersome novels, they deserve a website/blog of their own! But now my problem is:

What the hell do I call it?

So I'm reaching out to you, my loyal Bee Hive, for inspiration! Help me come up with a concise yet witty title to my new blog. Something about television, addiction, TiVo, critic, etc.

Give me your best shot!


Song title: Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar

Living In A Fantasy

Per our normal routine, after Baby Bee's breakfast, we sat down for Sesame Street. Now Sesame Street just started a new season. Yes, Moms all around the world rejoice!!

But that's not all. I usually lose myself in the computer and internets while Bee watches random Street-ness. However, this morning, something caught my eye.



Hells yes, Sesame Street! HELLS YES!! Needless to say, this episode will not be deleted from our TiVo any time soon. Even dressed up like the Shoe Fairy, he's still cute!

Author's Note: Yeah, I know NPH doesn't play for my team, but I just try to ignore that. He's way to charming and cute to not have Sesame Street fantasies about him! (Kidding, Mr. Bee!)


Song title: Living In A Fantasy by Artist: Leo Sayer

It's A Small World (After All)

Love Thy Neighbor
So Mr. Bee has this friend, let's call him Fred, who isn't big on the dating scene. Some of their collective friends decided, with Fred's permission, to create an EHarmony profile for Fred. Not long after, Fred started talking online with a lady, we'll call her Suzy.

Suzy lives in the same town as Fred and the other day Fred starts talking about where he lives. He says, "I live in downtown Townville."

She says, "Me too!"

He says, "Well, I live over behind the car dealerships."

She says, "uh, me too!"

He says, "Well, uh, I live on Main Street..."

She says, "Do you drive a Mini Cooper?"

And Fred does! So she says, "Go out in to your driveway!"

When Fred walks out to his driveway, he sees Suzy across the street and four houses down!! They went on their first date a few days ago; Fred "picked up" Suzy at her house and they walked downtown to dinner.

I've told Mr. Bee that these two will totally end up getting married since that is such an awesome story! Who knew it would take EHarmony to meet your neighbor four doors down.

UPDATE: Mr. Bee informed me tonight that Fred learned through Suzy that the neighborhood gossip was that he was potentially gay since he has a friend (male) that comes over every Friday to do his laundry at Fred's house! LMAO!

Song title: It's A Small World (After All) from Disney, the Musical

Are You With Me Baby

Kid Friendly Seattle
I've discovered a number of surprisingly baby/kid-friendly places in the last few days, so I thought I'd post and share my discoveries.

Claim Jumper
If you've seen the outside of a Claim Jumper Restaurant, you might have jumped to the same conclusion that I did. I had heard that they had ridiculously large portions and seeing what obviously looked like mining-for-gold themed restaurant, I totally assumed that it was Red Robin with pick axes.

When Mr. Bee suggested we eat there with some acquaintances down in Portland, I figured it'd probably be a nice, loud place where we'd fit in with Baby Bee. Little did I know that I'd be so right and so wrong all at once.

When we arrived at the restaurant, the first thing I noticed was that it was not as Red Robin-ey as I thought. (And no, there is nothing wrong with Red Robin.) In fact, it was a nice restaurant - somewhere above Black Angus but not as nice as Daniel's Broiler. Any who, since we had reservations with 2 babies, when we were seated they already had high chairs waiting for us and the table was set with disposable table toppers ( I have these in my diaper bag at all times and looooove them) and oyster crackers to keep the babies busy while we perused the menu!

Then, before we even ordered, they brought the babies plates of deli meat, apple sauce, Mandarin oranges and cheese. For FREE. We didn't even have to buy Baby Bee a meal and she gobbled up the entire plate.

For these reasons alone, I have told Mr. Bee that we will now frequent our local Claim Jumper at least once a month! Our food was fantastic and I can't even believe that there is a nice restaurant that is baby-friendly in existence!


Westfield Shoppingtown Southcenter - aka: The Southcenter Mall
Since the grand re-opening of the mall two weeks ago, I have visited it twice to make my obligatory "donations". During the last visit, I popped in to one of their new "Family Lounges" to change Baby Bee's diaper.

Holy crap balls.

Along one wall, two or three changing stations include sunken tables so your wiggly little monkey doesn't roll off the counter. There are bottle warmers, wipe warmers, and probably a whole bunch of other things that I didn't notice because I refused to stand in line to change the baby. Instead, we headed over to the play area that was sprinkled with books and games, along with cushy chairs and a flat screen television playing random kid stuff. This quickly became the secondary changing area on the rug once other moms saw me refusing to wait for a changing station. And, the best thing ever, to the side, two "nursing stations" offer a quiet setting, cushy chairs, a flat screen TV and curtains, for moms.

Needless to say, I pretty much had to change my own diaper after stumbling upon such a mom oasis! And this was what I assume is the smaller of the two family lounges at Southcenter. It was crazy busy, but can you blame 'em? If this house thing doesn't pull through, I'm thinking about taking Baby Bee and moving in to one of the nursing stations.


Julep Nail Parlor
Okay, so I haven't actually been to this nail salon yet, but I was thrilled when I read about their Mommy Mondays. Every Monday, from 9am to 3pm, they have an on-site nanny who will entertain your child(ren) so you can enjoy your manicure, pedicure or waxing treatment without distraction. Oh, and they use all organic products and no "fake nails", so you don't have to suffer with that icky toxic smell! More reviews to come of this salon soon.


My goal is to continue to review and post about wonderful mommy/baby-friendly places in the Puget Sound area. But the problem is finding them...


Song title: Are You With Me Baby by Billy Burnett

Don't Abuse Me

Ow. Stop it. OW. Stop it. OW!! STOP IT!!
Today has reminded me a lot of an old post from Ashley's Closet. Today Bee has slapped me in the face, poked me square in the eye, caught my chin with the corner of a stupid paper menu at Applebee's and, the pièce de résistance, she stuck one of her fingers right up my nose. I mean so far up I'm pretty sure she scratched my Occipital Lobe.

On a happier note, I am having a super awesome free money day. Check this out, I picked up our mail from the PO Box and was sitting in the car going through it all:

#1. Saw that I got some sort of card or something. I loooooooooooove unexpected mail (that isn't a bill). It was a super awesome "You are Awesome" card from Bamber and my heart pretty much melted at her sweet words! What a terrific thing to get in the mail! You totally made my day, Bam!

#2. Opened something from my bank expecting to find a statement. Instead, due to the bank being retarded a few weeks ago and not accepting my debit card at some random place (I hardly even remember it happening), they sent me a $10 Starbucks gift card for the "inconvenience." SWEET!

#3. Next I opened something from Crackberry just expecting an advertisement. Instead, because I had registered my Crackberry with their online thing-a-ma-bobber, they sent me a $10 gift card to Best Buy. RADICAL!

#4. Lastly, I opened up something from Allstate expecting an ad or a "please use us again for home owner's insurance once you buy a house and stop living in your ghetto apartment, loser" letter. But apparently we had overpaid our bill at some point and it was a check for a $500+ refund!!

#5. This one isn't mail related, but I kept joking about my good luck today and how maybe we'd hear something about the house. And we did! The good news is: we got an update on the house. I guess it has officially been assigned to someone at the bank. The bad news is: They estimate it will be six weeks before we get a response from them. SIX WEEKS!? You've got to be fucking kidding me?! Every DAY I spend in this apartment drives me more and more crazy!!! In six weeks I will be so hardcore PMSing and pissy that, if they know what's good for them, they will accept our offer tout de suite or risk me punching them in the throat.

Besides the "six weeks" news from the bank, everything else is totally awesome. Maybe Karma is finally smiling my direction after having to put up with a pretty shitty last six months. Seriously, once Mr. Bee gets home, I'm going straight out to buy like 20 lottery tickets. I promise to have a killer party after I win the lottery and you are all invited.


Song title: Don't Abuse Me by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts