Silver Tongue

My. Vag. Awesome. Yours? Not so much...
Someone once said that it is impolite to speak of sex, religion, money and/or politics in mixed company.

Well, I can't remember anyone ever using the adjective "polite" to describe me.

I've shared with you my infinite stories of the vag. My brain is currently percolating on a religious "coming out" post. And for money? Well, it's good. I like it. I like it even better when I can spend it. Immediately. On impulse purchases.

On to politics, I suppose!

Last night, I was very interested in watching the first/last/only Vice Presidential Debate, for entertainment purposes more than anything.

If you couldn't tell from my constant sailor mouth and references to my baby hole, I'm not exactly what you would consider "conservative". Like, at all. However, there are some like one or two issues that I would vote conservatively on (i.e. death penalty issues, etc.) so I don't ever feel completely locked in to a "party". But I've discovered over the years that there are two or three issues that I hold so dear that I could never vote Republican (as these issues are strictly contrary to base Republican opinions).

So I find it interesting that so many people care about these debates because unless Joe Biden declared that Barack Obama declared is an alien from another planet, he's getting my vote. Shit, I'd probably still vote for him if he were E.T. I like me some Reese's Pieces, yo.

But don't get me wrong. I'm not some gung-ho Obama supporter. I am a to-the-bone Hillary Clinton supporter who is pissed that she wasn't chosen for V.P. (don't even get me started on the democratic race between the two). But as a proud liberal, Obama will definitely get my vote.

But I digress, back to the V.P. debate.

I'll start on the completely superficial side of things. Sarah Palin is totally cute. I LOVE the fact that she doesn't go the dowdy, boring pant suit route and those red heels were pretty snazzy. The lady has some good stylists. But, with that said, I'm starting to find it completely inappropriate.

Take her shoes for example. Apparently they are from a line called Naughty Monkey and are generally geared to women in their early to mid-20s who go clubbing. Really, though? You really thought some peep-toe, red patent heels were appropriate for a job interview vice presidential debate?

And I swear, if she says "Darn it" one more time...Sure, you are every cliche of a Alaskan soccer mom and just like "all of us" on Main Street/at the kitchen table, but that doesn't make you qualified to run our country. And, FYI, you are NOTHING like me. It did take you SIX ATTEMPTS and four different colleges to finally get your Bachelors. Yeah, you were mayor of a city, but a city that is as big as Sequim, Washington.

What? You've never heard of Sequim? (pronounced "SKWIM" - Lesson #1 of how to speak like a Washingtonian)

THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS TINY AND INSIGNIFICANT! Similar to Wasilla.

"But Palin was the Governor of the whole state!" you counter.

Really, though? The entire state of Alaska has barely more people in it than the city of Seattle. By that measure, Mayor Greg Nickles should run for V.P. (and we all know how that would turn out!)

Having a vag myself, I'm, of course, completely supportive of having women in politics and especially the White House. Shit, I was even going to be a delegate for Hillary Clinton before I realized that the people running the delegate process in Washington (and I'm guessing all over the nation) have no idea what they are doing (as an event planner, I can't handle being part of that kind of jumble fuck). With that said, I find it terribly offensive that McCain decided to choose this particular female politician to run beside him. It's like he saw her, so cute and perky (similar to his trophy mistress wife) and thought, "Bewbies! Vagina! She'll be PERFECT!!" which I find completely insulting. Insulting to Palin for practically ignoring her lack of competence, and insulting to all the women of the country for assuming that just because there is a baby hole on the ticket that we will automatically vote for her!

Anywho, I'm sure SNL will have some crack-up hysterical sketch to start tomorrow's show. Tina Fey has more than perfected the Palin impression - I can't help but feel like Sarah Palin herself is doing an impression of Tina Fey doing a Sarah Palin impression!


Song title: Silver Tongue by Menswear