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    The Old Stuff

    Hurt so Bad

    I think I broke a toe today.
    And unfortunately, it's one of my toes.

    A Re-enactment
    Open on a quaintly messy living room. An adorable young toddler plays on the couch while a loving mother tends to her. When the beautiful and graceful young mother (hey, it's my re-enactment...) approaches her young daughter, a threatening, nay, homicidal ottoman (which had laid dormant until this very instant) jumped out at the young mother, throttling her foot.

    The Alleged Assailant*

    The gorgeous, yet humble, mother crumples gracefully to the ground exclaiming, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

    The Innocent Victim

    Sorry for the close-up foot photo. I know I need a pedicure like nothing else - Christ, my nails look like I clipped them with a lawn mower. And the only reason why they are recently painted is because I had a Mommy Group play date yesterday and knew I'd be forced against my will to remove my shoes before entering.

    Anywho, now I'm forced to hobble around all day like frickin' Verbal Kint. And, of course, I have a client meeting this evening. Think Starbucks will let me use the handicap parking spot?

    *All ottomans are presumed innocent until found guilty by a jury of their peers (i.e. ottomans, stools, love seats, etc.)

    Song title: Hurt so Bad by Alicia Keys


    Anonymous said...

    That's so funny that your toes are only painted for the dread Mommy scorn of the playdate. :)

    That looks pretty nasty! I hope it feels better today!

    Pearl said...

    Ouch! That sucks! I am laughing at your pedicure motivation too. We have no shoe rules at most playdates too. I invaribly have safeway feet on those days.

    the mama bird diaries said...

    I am so sorry about your toe.

    And one should never have to take off their shoes if they don't want to. Makes me nuts.

    AndBabyWillMake4 said...

    Whoa...that does look bad if it's already turned purple. EEK!

    BPOTW said...

    And this is why I always have my toes painted. You never know nowadays when you'll have to take shoes off...

    Hope that toe gets better soon!

    Thanks for submitting a post again!

    Anonymous said...

    yeah, that looks like it hurts like hell!
    this was funny. for me, not for you I guess. I'm visiting from BPOTW - great post.

    Ashley. Unscripted... said...

    I HATE those ninja ottomans. I've found that doorframes are notoriously evil as well.