Don't Abuse Me

Ow. Stop it. OW. Stop it. OW!! STOP IT!!
Today has reminded me a lot of an old post from Ashley's Closet. Today Bee has slapped me in the face, poked me square in the eye, caught my chin with the corner of a stupid paper menu at Applebee's and, the pièce de résistance, she stuck one of her fingers right up my nose. I mean so far up I'm pretty sure she scratched my Occipital Lobe.

On a happier note, I am having a super awesome free money day. Check this out, I picked up our mail from the PO Box and was sitting in the car going through it all:

#1. Saw that I got some sort of card or something. I loooooooooooove unexpected mail (that isn't a bill). It was a super awesome "You are Awesome" card from Bamber and my heart pretty much melted at her sweet words! What a terrific thing to get in the mail! You totally made my day, Bam!

#2. Opened something from my bank expecting to find a statement. Instead, due to the bank being retarded a few weeks ago and not accepting my debit card at some random place (I hardly even remember it happening), they sent me a $10 Starbucks gift card for the "inconvenience." SWEET!

#3. Next I opened something from Crackberry just expecting an advertisement. Instead, because I had registered my Crackberry with their online thing-a-ma-bobber, they sent me a $10 gift card to Best Buy. RADICAL!

#4. Lastly, I opened up something from Allstate expecting an ad or a "please use us again for home owner's insurance once you buy a house and stop living in your ghetto apartment, loser" letter. But apparently we had overpaid our bill at some point and it was a check for a $500+ refund!!

#5. This one isn't mail related, but I kept joking about my good luck today and how maybe we'd hear something about the house. And we did! The good news is: we got an update on the house. I guess it has officially been assigned to someone at the bank. The bad news is: They estimate it will be six weeks before we get a response from them. SIX WEEKS!? You've got to be fucking kidding me?! Every DAY I spend in this apartment drives me more and more crazy!!! In six weeks I will be so hardcore PMSing and pissy that, if they know what's good for them, they will accept our offer tout de suite or risk me punching them in the throat.

Besides the "six weeks" news from the bank, everything else is totally awesome. Maybe Karma is finally smiling my direction after having to put up with a pretty shitty last six months. Seriously, once Mr. Bee gets home, I'm going straight out to buy like 20 lottery tickets. I promise to have a killer party after I win the lottery and you are all invited.


Song title: Don't Abuse Me by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts