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    The Old Stuff

    I Am A Lonesome Hobo

    Well, after all the crap and negotiating for weeks, our house is officially selling!! They accepted our "This or Suck It" offer (they chose "This," not "Suck it") and now we're just waiting for closing. Except I discovered that, being the retard I am, I accidentally scheduled our closing to be Wednesday.

    THIS Wednesday.

    Yeah, that's not going to really work for me. So first thing tomorrow I will be kissing someone's butt trying to get it rescheduled for a few weeks out. But the good news is: We will officially be homeless in 17 days! Oh wait...did I say good news?...

    No Sleep Tonight
    Last night, my lovely lady friends hosted a bridal shower for Brain Twin, and afterwards we had a good, old-fashioned (but with copious amounts of alcohol) slumber party. It was so much fun that I literally came close to peeing myself about five times due to laughing ridiculously hard (the alcohol probably didn't help much either).

    The highlights of the evening were (in no particular order):
    **Each of us saying the word "vag" approximately 8 billion times
    **Brain Twin's slow clap
    **T-Money being attacked by an ironing board
    **Playing Presidents and Assholes for the first time and getting to hear everyone say "Jealous?!?" and "meow meow" about a billion times

    We also played Loaded Questions, which is a game where you answer questions and one person has to figure out who said what answer. Some of the funniest question/answer combos have got to be (and these are only the ones I remember; I'm sure there are better ones that got lost in my Bellini-induced coma):

    If you were mayor, what would your city be called?
    Transyldouchia, Vagatopia

    If you were going to be on a game show, which show would it be?
    Wheel of Vag, Price is Right (vag edition), Jeopardy (vag edition), Vag or no Vag, Douche or No Douche

    Are you starting to sense a theme yet?

    And I think the question/answer that could possibly be the best/most memorable for the night (and has since become our group's tag line) is...

    Wait for it...

    What three words best describe you?
    My. Vag. Awesome.

    Have I mentioned how much I love my friends recently?

    {slow clap}

    Writer's Note
    Oh, and I don't recommend Googling "Slumber Party" unless you are specifically looking for porn...

    Song Titles: I Am A Lonesome Hobo by Bob Dylan; No Sleep Tonight by The Faders