Watch Out

This is my new advisory that I'm thinking of having family and friends sign before commencing in eating a meal with me:

***SAFETY ADVISORY***
Please be aware that this meal is NOT Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig approved. I fully plan on eating my weight in food. Let it be known that I will not hesitate to poke you in the eye with my fork/spoon/knife/spork/finger if you attempt at any time to remove cheese or bread from my personal space.